Inspiration for the interpretation of the card „Chariot”
For illustration of the card “The Chariot”, I chose one of my own experiences.
Even Unsuccessful Journey Is ImportantAt that point of my life I returned back to the place of my residence after working for a year in Prague as an owner of a marketing agency. My wife was in charge of the operations. Unfortunately, due to her naivety, she made couple of bad decisions and we had to close the agency. I continued in the business by myself and she stayed at home to be a housewife.
I received an offer to be a part-time marketing manager in a big theatre. It sounded like a nice challenge to try something new so I decided to go for it. At the same time, my wife came up with an idea that she would like to set up an art coffee place and asked me to help her with it. It was a difficult- marketing, theatre and the coffee place swallowed me whole and I didn’t have time to do anything else.
My newly taken journey was very fulfilling. In addition, I had my first - and successful!- painting exhibition in our gallery. That was really a cherry on top of everything.
I got a promotion in the theatre and became a director and my biggest customer invited me for a fishing trip on Volga river in Russia.
It was very fulfilling but there is always a price to pay. In this case, the price was health and complete exhaustion. I was smoking 60 cigarettes a day and I was going home just to sleep. My wife was in the coffee place 24/7 and my daughter was left to go through a private high school by herself. But I was still managing all that- or at least I thought so. Breaking point came around half a year after my trip to Russia.
I was driving my wife to the coffee place every morning, stopping by at the wholesale, and then I continued to the theatre. In the afternoons, I would stop by the coffee place to help with what was necessary and also to work on ads. The coffee place was my office at that point. My wife would return after closing time during the night. I was only thinking about managing to do everything that was expected of me.
A native Peruvian started to regularly hang out in our coffee place and I was feeling happy about the fact that we had an international clientele. I was told by my wife couple of times that she would come home later because she is visiting a healer. I was not paying attention to this till the day she told me that she needs to stop by Tesco and we would have to go there again the following morning. I was waiting by the care as she was shopping and I had a sudden realization. The native Peruvian was her lover and she was seeing him. As she was getting closer with full shopping bags, I
As she was getting closer to the car, I said: ‘That Peruvian is you love!’. She dropped the bags and nodded in agreement. And thus began a 4-year lasting love triangle during which I almost reached a complete bottom. But I had to go through it, irregardless of the timing, to understand that I was to blame because of my actions and behaviour. We gradually lost the coffee place, I ended my career in the theatre, and sent my daughter, that I didn’t make time for and who was living a very free lifestyle, to England to work as an au-pair. Then, my wife left and I ended up completely alone.
I couldn’t sleep during my journey to the bottom because my head was full of thoughts and questions about the meaning of life. I ended up formulating my own personal prayer:’ Forgive all that hurt you. Beg for forgiveness of those who hurt you. Thank for all the life life lessons, which happened for your own good and most importantly forgive yourself and don’t let anyone else to hurt you- not even yourself.’
I started to sleep again and step-by-step started to feel calm and stable again. Unfortunately, I suffered a heart-attack after a year but I already new at that point that I have broken the vicious circle. I was feeling very happy and was filled with humility and gratitude that I am handling everything. Especially, that I am handling myself well again.
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