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#1 Heaven And Hell- Alaska And Cancer

I have received a gift from my friends for my 60th birthday thanks to which I have fulfilled my life-long dream. They gave me a 3-weeks-long trip to Alaska. We all went there together. It was gorgeous. But since I always liked to think about the meaning of life and I believe that it is always a give-and-take, I was thinking about what is going to happen straight after the return. It was amazing so I was thinking that there must come something to balance it. You know how it goes...And right enough, two months afterwards, my bones started to hurt. It was getting worse and worse over time and got to a point when I could not sleep due to the extreme pain.  I ended up in a hospital with Multiple Myeloma diagnosis. For those of you who do not know what it means, it is a type of cancer that is causing weakening of bone structures leading to fractures as well as kidney failure. If I did not believe that there is always an up after being down, I would probably not have survived. I accepted it all with humility and took everything that followed- including bone marrow transplantation, broken vertebrae and ribs and being bedridden for 6 months having- as another experience which is meant to teach me something and maybe even realize that life can be beautiful even in a situation such as this one. How? Being really happy for every morning that I get to wake up. Praising myself for every little thing that I do right. Enjoying the fact that I can work on creating tarot cards deck and paint. All these things fill me with optimism and good mood. Yes, my values in life changed and, most importantly, I have learnt not to plan long-term. I experience every day I have on this Earth mindfully.

 All of us would like our lives to only be filled with good things but is it even possible to experience the good without the bad? Can the two even exist one without the other?

I have seen ’hell’ several times in my life and I have always realized that ‘heaven’ is not for free or better yet that I would never understand ‘heaven’ without experiencing my own personal ’hell’. This is the life philosophy that helped me even during the times I have mentioned above.

We all have our ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ and the way we understand them can change during the course of our lives. I think that the worse experience we go through, the less we need in order to be truly happy.

I am trying to create the tarot cards deck keeping this idea in mind. Even if you pull the worst card possible, do not despair. Happiness is definitely somewhere near but it is necessary to take a good look at the things around you. Also, if you pull a great card be careful- pride and selfishness are right there beside healthy self-esteem.

Eagle Alaska

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